As much as I hate to admit it, the start of the semester is already upon us and this year I’m coming back to Elizabethtown College as an undergraduate for the last time. Yes, I’m a senior and I’m just as confused as you are as to how this moment snuck up on me (and maybe you as well).
With all of these emotions stirring around my head I thought it could be therapeutic to make a little post summing up some of my most prominent feelings entering this final year! So sit back, relax, and watch me spiral because is becoming an adult really truly upon me? I guess that’s for us to find out soon!
1. Do I want to go back? No way, Jose!
It’s no secret that I hate college. I hate the stress, I hate the tests, and I hate not being in a place I want to be. To me, it’s like a really long summer camp and I feel trapped which spoiler alert, is not a feeling I take well. So until move-in day, I’ll be thinking this on repeat.
2. How did I get to my senior year already? This is going to be over in a blink of an eye.
This is sometimes the best and worst thing about college.. every year somehow goes by even quicker despite getting more challenging and time consuming. I always reflect at the end of a semester and am shocked to see it’s just over.. totally in the past.
I’m going to remember not to take things for granted this year. Even though it isn’t always easy, I don’t want to forget about this chapter in my life and I want to graduate knowing that I lived as full of a college experience as possible.
3. Am I seriously going to graduate with a degree in Biotechnology and half of my master’s for Molecular Medicine completed?? That’s. Crazy.
Despite my true passion for fashion, my degree is in Biotechnology. Maybe I’ll end up in that field for the rest of my life and maybe not, but at the very least I fought tooth and nail for this degree and I am so. proud. to say the least.
I love that through all the frustration, tears, and victories it’s finally going to be real. It’s an amazing field and one I know is going to be in demand for years and years to come and throughout all of this change and possibility swirling around it’s a comfort knowing that there is some kind of security associated with this major accomplishment. Plus like I said, I am fortunate enough to have been fostered into a program through my school that allows me to work towards my master’s as well. Will it be easy? No way. But will it be worth it? I think so.
4. So, like, I have to be an adult now? And, uhm, HOW exactly is that done again??
As a senior I’m sure we’re all well aware that this is the last year of a lot of things that are within our comfort zone. There is no more ‘next year’ to fall back on but rather a blank slate panning out in front of you. This is both liberating but also terrifying.
I find myself thinking things like ‘So how do I go about getting a job?’ and ‘Am I really going to be apartment hunting so soon?’ allllll the time. And let me just tell you it normally leads to a spiral of panic that I just push off until another time. Definitely not my best strategy considering the moment those questions need to be answered is upon the horizon whether I like it or not.
But seriously, are we just supposed to know what we want to do and come out of the gates running? I’m not sure, but always remember life doesn’t owe you.. you owe it!
5. When am I going to dance again?
Dancing has been my entire life. I’m not good at literally ANYTHING athletic but for some reason, dance just clicked for me. I was so lucky to go to a college where they have not only a dance team but also a dance club, both of which I am incredibly fond of and beyond blessed to have been a part of.
I can’t imagine a time I won’t be taking a class but I think that’s a thought for another day because I know if I think about it I’ll be losing it in t-minus -4 seconds.
If there is something you love to do and you aren’t sure when you are going to get that chance to thrive again in something you’re passionate about, make sacrifices. I know that my time is probably more smartly spent preparing assignments and focusing on the future, but I vow to myself that this year I will make time.
6. Is it too late to regret every purchase I’ve ever made? Like was the 10 pack variety popcorn seasonings you brought from the Amazon Prime sale really a necessity?
Yeah, unfortunately money is a thing and reality might smack you in the face when you realize how little you’ve actually saved over the past four years and how much you’ve spent. I can vouch for this feeling particularly well now that I’m looking more and more into the actual logistics of affording a NYC apartment..
This feeling can either put you into a panic or it can act as a wake up call. I find myself asking, ‘Do I really need that coffee?’ or ‘Is another basic white tee really worth it anymore?’ It’s unfamiliar territory but just another thing to keep at the very least in the back of your mind over the next year. Even looking at Pinterest savings plans has helped sooth some of my anxieties about this and might be a good place for all of us beginners to start!
7. Am I really just a small fish in a big pond? Or is it vice versa? Because these old time-y phrases have me feeling some type of way.
All of these looming responsibilities might have you feeling overwhelmed. I know that’s how I’m feeling anyways. And it’s so easy to just succumb to those feelings and pull right on in to the procrastination station. Like, is it time to just quit already?
I always have to keep in mind that this is just the beginning. And as scary as that may be, I also have to remind myself that I have time. So don’t panic because we all have our rough days. It’s okay to take some time and be selfish with it, especially considering that now is the time to still do that. But rest up because soon it’s time to take on the world.
And to answer that first question? No, you are not just a small fish waiting to get swallowed up entirely (even though I’m sure there are going to be days, weeks, months even that you may feel that way). Everyone will get their moment, I really believe that.
8. Goodbye dorm life, good riddance twin bed, and adios to frequent encounters with community/public restrooms.
My school makes it a little difficult to have housing off campus, and truly I didn’t want to go through that kind of a hassle. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been blessed with great roommates so that is NOT the issue, but rather that I just think dorm life is not for me. Keep in mind I’m an only child, and despite this being majorly entitled, I love having a queen size bed to spread out in after a long day.
Another thing? I’m a total freak about public bathrooms and while at college I can say I’ve had too many close encounters with them. Whether it be changing dangerously close to an open toilet before a dance class or trying to find my happy place while 10 other people come into the room, I’m 1000% over it that’s for sure and here’s to hoping the trend doesn’t continue in the ‘real world’. Bless.
9. There is not one night of ‘Breakfast for Dinner’ that I’ll be skipping in the Marketplace.
Okay so I can go on about how sometimes I really am just not feeling the Marketplace food, as I’m sure lots of you can relate. But to give them some credit, they actually have some really bomb days with a whole pizza bar or to die for desserts. That being said, breakfast for dinner is my favorite night and you better believe you’ll find me piling M&M pancakes onto my plate those nights. My belly is so happy just thinking about it!
10. At the end of the day.. it’s all going to be okay.
Unless you have some serious karma coming your way, breathe. It’s going to be okay. I like to dream big and think about all of the possibilities of the future, but sometimes it’s necessary to just focus on the now and take it one day at a time. Make goals and slowly, but surely, check them off. Surround yourself with your people and it will all work itself out. And never give up.
And that concludes some of my serious and silly thoughts that are at the forefront of my consciousness going into my senior year. Like I said, I really can’t believe it’s here and although I’m kind of terrified (hello master’s classes, you can leave) I’m ready to make this another great year and close this chapter on my life despite not having a clue what my future holds. Exciting, right?
Let me know in the comments below what are some of your back to school thoughts? Are you looking forward to another year or are you ready to check out already like me?
Until next time,